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30th August 2013

4:00am: Written in Early Spring

I heard a thousand blended notes
While in a grove I sate reclined,
In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts
Bring sad thoughts to the mind.

To her fair works did Nature link
The human soul that through me ran;
And much it grieved my heart to think
What man has made of man.

Through primrose tufts, in that sweet bower,
The periwinkle trail'd its wreaths;
And 'tis my faith that every flower
Enjoys the air it breathes.

The birds around me hopp'd and play'd,
Their thoughts I cannot measure,
But the least motion which they made
It seem'd a thrill of pleasure.

The budding twigs spread out their fan
To catch the breezy air;
And I must think, do all I can,
That there was pleasure there.

If this belief from Heaven be sent,
If such be Nature's holy plan,
Have I not reason to lament
What man has made of man?

-William Wordsworth

2nd May 2008

1:07pm: Whee
I hate when people forget my birthday. 23, yay.
Current Mood: tired

17th February 2008

11:35pm: New Website
It's all mine: www.ksimmonsphotography.com.

Five years ago, I would never have imagined I would be where I am right now.

There are ways that I've been falling
There are times I've been so weak
There are moments when I hear redemption calling
But I'm too far down to speak

So come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone

There are scars that I've been hiding
There are ghosts that I do not name
There are closets I do not care to open
But they open all the same

So come sweet fire of mercy
Cover up my skin
Warm me like the sun
Won't you let me in
To come, come undone

-Jackson Waters, "Come Undone"
Current Mood: drained

6th December 2007


7th November 2007

1:01pm: See it.

But read it first.

20th July 2006

9:02am: So I don't forget.
I'll never feel the weight of your hands
Side mine like diamonds
lace so fine ballerina
Cupcake and my earthquake
Wakes me from my sleep and
Never comes hardly breathing
Waiting for me

I didn't really want you
But I want you now
Was so foolish of me
To you feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
Want to rescue want to scream out loud

I didn't think I needed you
But I need you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you crashing down
Into the empty world
The music stops
Want to rescue want to scream out loud
You will always be mine

The room spins
Pull you from me
My body burns
Tell me of the rainbows
The colors that the rain throws
Ballerina dance softly
She knows when to come only
When she's called and slowly coming to

I didn't really want you
But I need you
Was so foolish of me
To feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
Want to rescue want to scream out loud

I didn't think I wanted you
But I want you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you crashing down
Into the empty world
The music stops
Want to rescue want to scream out loud
You will always be

So so sorry
Just come back to me now
So so sorry
Just come back to me now

I didn't think I wanted you
But I want you now
Was so foolish of me
To feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out
Wanted to rescue want to scream out loud
I didn't think I needed you
But I need you now
Was so empty in me
Feel you tumbling down
Into that empty room
The lights went out want to scream out loud
That you will always be mine

-Leona Naess, "Ballerina"

3rd April 2006

7:20pm: I bare my windowed self untamed and untrained
Dreams that hardly touch our complexions truest faults
If room enough for both my drowsy spirit shall fall
Bold waves tumble to the season of my heart
You have offended my faith and my trust
Until all is lost into the beauty of the day
Until all is lost
(see-yeah, see-yeah)
And I think It's Lost

And there's something in the way you laugh
And it makes me feel like a child
Aspects of life they confuse me
You and your thesis amuse me
After an afternoon with you
And your rich brown eyes
Your lips and dark hair
Elbows and exposed knees tossing toward your ceiling (a-ling a-ling a ling)
After an afternoon

Face to palm
Tear to tear
Mouth to tongue
Heart to ground
Heart to ground
Say, "I am in love"
Say, "Heart to ground"
Say, everything
Oh, Heart
Oh, Heart
Oh, Heart to ground
I am in love

-Jason Mraz

What a beautiful song. You have to download it if you can, because it is amazing and beautiful and lovely.

I just got done running 3/4 of a mile and doing situps/lifting weights...and now I'm tired, but completely satisfied to be starting a workout again. I'm out of shape...I'm still skinny, yes, but out of shape. I miss volleyball so much it hurts to think about playing. It was a huge part of my life from 6th grade on, and I need to get back into it. I also feel like I need to throw up...but that's doubtful.

I'm just feeling slightly depressed lately. I wish school was over with and I could sit back and figure out my life, because I can't concentrate on school and finding myself all at the same time. I know that sounds silly, but I want this weight lifted so I can find out where I'll float without it.

I just want to live a simple life. No distractions, just doing what I love and being with who I love.
Current Mood: tired

16th January 2006

Advanced Global Personality Test Results
Extraversion |||||| 30%
Stability |||| 16%
Orderliness |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Accommodation |||||||||||||||| 70%
Interdependence |||||||||||||| 56%
Intellectual |||||||||||| 43%
Mystical |||||| 23%
Artistic |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Religious |||||||||||||||| 70%
Hedonism || 10%
Materialism |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Narcissism |||||||||| 36%
Adventurousness |||||| 30%
Work ethic |||||| 23%
Self absorbed |||||||||| 36%
Conflict seeking |||||| 23%
Need to dominate |||||||||||||||| 70%
Romantic |||||||||||||||||||| 90%
Avoidant |||||||||||| 43%
Anti-authority |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Wealth |||||| 30%
Dependency |||||||||| 36%
Change averse |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Cautiousness |||||||||||| 50%
Individuality |||||||||||| 50%
Sexuality |||||||||||||||| 70%
Peter pan complex |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical security |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Physical Fitness |||||||||||||||| 70%
Histrionic |||||||||||||||| 63%
Paranoia |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Vanity |||||||||||| 50%
Hypersensitivity |||||||||||||||||||| 83%
Female cliche |||||||||||||||||| 76%
Take Free Advanced Global Personality Test
personality tests by similarminds.com

10th January 2006

7:54am: Ugh...
Shoot me. It's so fucking early! I got to school at 7.45 thinking my class was at 8. I was wrong. My class doesn't start until 12.45, and I have to wait here in the library until then with only three hours(-) of sleep. Yah-effing-who. I have nothing to do.
Current Mood: tired

29th November 2005

10:03pm: Bouncing rams make me happy.

9th November 2005

5:42pm: If someone moves on with their life and doesn't care for you anymore, how can they still claim to have broken your heart? You know? It doesn't really make any sense. Sure it hurt at the time, but if you feel nothing for them now, can they claim your heart as one they've broken? I wouldn't think they could, but that's just my opinion.

I'm bored. And I need to write a paper.

19th October 2005

12:14pm: "You can't spell SLAUGHTER without LAUGHTER"
After Sunday, I've realized how much I've changed since the new year. I feel a deep, deep sorrow I can't really explain (only, I can), and a hole which I can't fill (and probably won't for a very long time). I've lost touch with virtually everyone I ever cared about in high school because I can't bring myself to pick up the telephone. Every time I do think about calling, it exhausts me. I don't like uncomfortable silences among two people who are, now, virtually strangers. I'm also afraid of the people I used to be close to. I can't really explain that...

I've found myself thinking, "we're all doomed soon anyways, according to Nostradamos, so why even bother?" I'm terrified of death, ever since I was little and I knew a little girl who died from a mental illness. Since then, I've become a hypocondriac and have had constant anxiety for a large portion of my life.

So pictures and writing have become outlets in which I can express myself without really giving a fuck what people think. I don't care if I'm good or not, I don't do it for you people, I do it for myself (one of the only truly selfish things I can bring myself to do). I don't really like photographing people in a setting because I think they're judging me, which is perhaps why I wasn't so open this Sunday, and also why I enjoy the company of photographing animals more than people. Next Sunday, however, sweet little Courtney and her puppy are my subjects.

Despite the odd air on Sunday, and the fact that I had never before used slide film before, they turned out quite well (only a few overdeveloped images). I'm happy with the compositions and how most turned out.

I'll post some later today after my class, which I have in ten minutes.
Current Mood: relieved

27th September 2005

ColorQuiz.com nitroflory took the free ColorQuiz.com personality test!

"Pursues her objectives with intensity and does not..."

Click here to read the rest of the results.

16th September 2005

5:10pm: Busy Busy Busy
Warning: Boring

Finals are over and I have two weeks off, thank goodness. Now I can actually work other than weekends (when I only get appr. $60) and make a little bit more money. I worked 6 hours today and will work most likely about 11 this weekend, and hopefully grab some hours next week. I have bills to pay off, blah. I love my PSP, though, so I'm not regretful. Also, I'm hoping to buy the second season of Arrested Development when it comes out in October, and save for christmas presents.

I have a photo shoot set up with someone and their adorable little puppy, can't wait for that.

What a boring entry. I need to find a place to live, and soon. Maria and I have been looking, but haven't found a cheap, nice place we can go to and from AIP by bus. Athough we only have two days next quarter that we'll stay in Pittsburgh. So whatever.

Like I said, boring entry. You shouldn't have read it if you did.

14th September 2005

9:54pm: last kiss: Monday
last good cry: last night while in bed
last library book checked out: Not sure
last movie seen: Speak (on Lifetime)
last book read: The Thief Lord
last beverage drank: Water
last food consumed: Greek Hoagie from our favorite Greek place in the city, and angel food cake

last phone call: Mom and Shannon
last time showered: This morning
last shoes worn: Dirty Pumas
last cd played: Avril Lavigne on my mixed cd
last item bought: PSP

last downloaded song: Garden State Soundtrack
last annoyance: Allegheny Center
last disappointment: ...
last soda drank: Squirt

last thing written: the word 'Squirt'
last key used: apartment key
last word spoken: Together
last sleep: nap today at 2
last IM: Josh
last weird encounter: It's always weird in Pittsburgh. We call it the city of the crazies.
last ice cream eaten: Butter Pecan from Handels
last time amused: talking to Maria. She was sitting on Sarah's barren bed and comments how there's probably pee on it. I say, "And sex. Pee and dried semen."
last time hugged: Monday
last time scolded: last week about my scavenger hunt for News class
last time dancing: half hour ago to Citizen Cope
last poster looked at: "Lavender" by Peter Lik
last webpage visited: LJ

1 MINUTE AGO: Maria laughed
1 HOUR AGO: Alone singing and dancing. Also shaved my legs
1 DAY AGO: Spent 12 hours in the lab

1 WEEK AGO: No idea

1 MONTH AGO: Really can't remember
1 YEAR AGO: Was probably crying. And starting at La Roche.
I HURT: My neck.
I LOVE: too much
I HATE: being poor
I FEAR: my nightmares coming true

I hope: to find an apartment soon

I FEEL: odd, insecure, anxious
I DRIVE: only to work. in the mustang.
I MISS: home

I LEARNED: that people actually admire my photographs
I NEED: to pack
I KNOW: absolutely nothing
current clothes: wife beaters and pink shorts with puma socks
current mood: blah
current music: Pete Murray, "Fall Your Way"

current taste: Apple
current hair: Pony tail, messy, big bangs

current annoyance: People in general

current smell: food

current thing i should be doing: packing. sort of.
current desktop picture: tiny elephants
current refreshment: water

current worry: what I always worry about.
Current Mood: numb

26th August 2005

8:46am: http://www.ebaumsworld.com/games/catchash1t.html
Current Mood: worried

16th August 2005

8:13pm: I'm annoyed lately by others. And quite down for no particular reason.
Current Mood: anxious

8th July 2005

10:41am: I hate Bush. Let's fire him and put a Democrat in there. I'm really just disgusted with our government. And why can't we burn the flag if we want to? Isn't that our right as citizens? Bah, just BAH. Hear that? Bah.

"I think about Iraq every day. Every single day..." Ummm, no shit. You started the war, you SHOULD think about it.

Personally, I think Kerry would have been a better bet in guiding our country. At least he would have had the democrats behind him, and maybe every other country wouldn't hate us right now. Lesser of two evils, people.

17th June 2005

11:43am: Finally. A Break.
Started break Wednesday after my class. I'm debating what to do over break.

Cedar Point at some point. I think with Sarah and some other people (Kyle, wanna go?). Maybe Josh if he isn't a bum about it.
Washington DC. With Austin and his mom, aunt, and uncle (Monday and Tuesday)
Gettysburgh (maybe) with mom, shannon, linz (Thursday)
Scrapbook, take some pics for printing color next quarter (yay!!)
Scan some pics for my deviant site because it's pretty empty, and the ones in there were done with a crappy scanner and look like butt.
Get license (maybe)
Moving rooms Sunday into a triple with Sarah and Maria. Excited about that! :)
Start work once the orchard opens and when we actually have fruit.

And that's all I have so far. Any suggestions for a (broke) 20yr old without a clue as to what to do over summer break?

Anywhootles, I need to go clean Grandma's house for her. I also need a shower.
Current Mood: curious

2nd June 2005

3:28pm: I'm bored with livejournal.

21st May 2005

9:57am: So I went to the Scholastic Book Sale yesterday with my mom, sister, brother-in-law, brother, brother's friend, and newly hair-cutted boyfriend who looks absolutely adorable with short hair. Anyhow, we went to the book sale in Pittsburgh (on the waterfront). It's pretty much this huge warehouse full of books that are 50% off. It would have went better had I not had a lot of the books already in my collection (I'm a book whore). Regardless, I got the entire 5 book set of hardback Harry Potter books for $40. Yeah, that kicks ass, and it means I can buy the 6th one when it comes out! I seriously made out like a bandit. I bought two other books, while my sister bought me 8 more. I spent roughly $48, while Shannon spent $318. They have these "fill a box" things for $10 (with some actual good books, too) and Rob had stuffed 132 or some odd books in just the one box. I think she had three of those boxes.

I have such weird taste in books, I think. I'm a magical book kind of girl. I'm not really into the hardcore deep literacy that people think makes them look sophisticated and refined. I like stories that can actually hold my ADD-ified attention. For example, some of my favorites are the Charlie Bone Series, The Edge Chronicles, Spiderwick Chronicles, Harry Potter (duh), Kurt Vonnegut books, Michael Molloy books, Roald Dahl books, Peter and the Starcatchers, A Series of Unfortunate Events, books about dragons, witches, magic, love. Yeah, philosophy and logic (etc) are not my bag while reading. Sure, I have some Jack Kerouac and similar authors, but I can't really read them. They lose my attention in the first few pages.

My boyfriend is so adorable. I'm gushing like you have no idea, hehe. He said the woman cut about 6 inches off of his hair. It was LONG. It was really cute on him when he put a little part in the front, but then he looked too "emo" or whatever. I loved him with long hair, but WOW, he's even more beautiful when I can see his face and those amazing blue eyes. Okay, I'm done gushing, I swear. :)
Current Mood: sleepy

8th May 2005


The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when your partner is patient and never willing to give up on you.

You'd like to your lover to think you are stylish and alluring.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is open. Both of you can talk about everything... no secrets.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage something you've always wanted... though you haven't really thought about it.

In this moment, you think of love as something you thirst for. You'll do anything for love, but you won't fall for it easily.

3rd May 2005

10:15am: Yesterday was my birthday. Twenty years old. We celebrated on Sunday, my family and I, and then again on Monday with my AIP friends. We went down to McKnight road and first went to the Goodwill for a shopping excursion (me spending $5, Sarah $21, Maria $25, and Dan $0), followed by a dinner (paid for by my lovely roommate) at Panera, another excursion at the Ross Park Mall, and dessert at Lonestar (paid for by Dan). It was a fun day. I was basically gone from 8AM until 10PM. I called Austin (who called me at 7.45AM to wish me a happy birthday) and then went to bed. I think it was a good birthday this year. I didn't have to pay for a thing this past week, and it was nice. Austin took me out to dinner a couple of times and to see The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy (which was freaking awesome, btw).

OMG, this game is HILARIOUS, and morbid.

Anyhow, I'm sitting in "class" right now...I'm supposed to be back by 10.45. We had an on location shoot today. We went out into the city and had to take closeups of people with only a 50mm lens, which means you have to get right in their faces. This was hard for me, because I'm not all the "people friendly". I walked with this girl named Elizabeth, who is uber-friendly to everyone, so it wasn't too too difficult. Not all that bad. Only, this type of assignment will be continuous for about 5 or 6 more weeks. It was kind of fun, though, and there are some interesting people in Pittsburgh. Wow. I got some neat ones.

Okay, off to play some kitten cannon and then to class.
Current Mood: creative
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